Food for Thought – MM’s Days are Numbered

I have a theory on this whole disaster of a “relationship” and why PH seems to be miserable one moment and deliriously happy the next. My theory is based on something that occurred in my own family and I see very similar traits/emotions in this mockery of a marriage.
I have seen the term NARC mentioned often from what I have witnessed of this relationship, I truly believe that Harry is at the “mercy” of a professional NARC.
My older brother by six years, (Let’s call him Liam) was a Captain in the US Army. We grew up upper middle class in a very small town. Our parents were educated and could afford more than our classmates and their parents could. Not bragging, just stating facts. We were sheltered and brought up in a strict household where we were taught the importance of family, loyalty, education, and dedication to our country. We had everything we ever wanted but we were also expected to succeed. Money was spent on our educations and we were expected to show a return on our parents investment, so to speak. Yes there was sibling rivalry and our parents definitely have their favorites but we were a close family and because of what I am about to tell you, we will never again have that close relationship.
Liam went to a private military boarding high school and later to a college that had a strong Corp of Cadets program. His entire future was based around his military future. Liam wanted to be a General one day and could have easily accomplished this incredible distinction because his troops loved and admired him. Even the underclassmen who served in his command in high school and college fought to stay in his troop because he was that amazing as a leader. Liam was fair and honest, but you also knew that when going into battle you could rely on him to sacrifice his life for yours. He was born to be a military leader.
Liam was stationed in Iraq as a Commanding Officer in Military Intelligence and served a little over a year. Let’s just say my brother was a badass. Seriously. The other officer he worked with (later was killed) would use his own money from his trust fund to pay off informants. Liam, who had zero bills, would also buy information. Apparently, it got to the point they had so much intel the CIA approached the awesome duo for leads.
However, the loss of the men he swore to protect affected him more than we could imagine.
After his friend was killed by a roadside bomb that went undetected by Liam, he resigned his commission.
Liam was traumatized and talked about suicide. What he experienced changed him, altered who he was. I left college a semester early and finished classes online to graduate to move in with him. It was that bad. Over time, with my parents and my help, he gradually got better, started a new career, became more social, and the end of July met a girl, let’s call her Sarah*.
Sarah was my age, a secretary, single mom of a little girl, and she was tall, blonde, and very attractive. She was raised by extremely religious parents and it was rumored at the time that perhaps she had rebelled once or twice. The chick was smoking hot. Looked like and centerfold model and she knew her appeal. My brother was under her spell within a week…sound familiar?
She came off as this caring, nurturing, loving person who just wanted to be a wife and a mother and that she was everything he had been looking for and more. She had him convinced it was love at first sight.
Sarah’s own best friend warned me right off the bat to be careful because Sarah had a history of bad relationships. I ignored his advice but man I should have listened.
By the middle of October (3 months after meeting) my brother kicked me out of his house and moved in her and her daughter. He wouldn’t speak to me. At all. She had turned him so completely against me with lies and manipulations that I couldn’t even defend myself.
By Thanksgiving my parents were no longer speaking to him. Sarah had convinced Liam that my parents didn’t love him as much as they loved me and that I was their favorite. She picked up his insecurities he had due to being a boarding school student and the close relationship that developed between my parents and myself in his absence. But never was he neglected, nor made to feel like he wasn’t as loved as I was. Sarah picked at this insecurity until she had him convinced that she was the only person who truly loved him.
Middle of December Liam proposed
In the space of 5 months, this woman managed to alienate my brother from his family and friends…again…sound familiar?
Sarah was telling lies around our community about my family, almost like a negative PR campaign, sound familiar?
At one point a truce was called and my parents and I went to their wedding but less than a month later battle lines were once again drawn. I think Sarah realized during all of this that my parents were one day going to be rather well-off and who better to inherit that money than her!? She tried to turn my parents against me but that was easy to deduce so she quickly gave up that idea. At one point she was at their home and started instructing my mother on what she was to receive when my parents died. Still chuckle about that.
Once married she quit her job after the honeymoon and got pregnant. Had a miscarriage (this one was real). A couple months later she flipped out, he asked for a divorce. The day he is moving her out, she “collapses” …yep you guessed it “miscarriage.” This one was fake but at the time she convinced him that the stress of his family and a divorce killed their baby. Things went downhill quickly, she again got pregnant (real one) and had a miscarriage at around 4 months. About a month later she attacked him, he moved in with my parents and was divorced within a month. Marriage didn’t last a year. Turns out she was bi-polar with narcissistic tendencies.
I was in therapy due to the emotional stress she put on my family and myself.
Basically, my therapist said was that Liam had insecurities all his life but his place in the Army helped him with those. However, what he experienced in Iraq damaged him in ways I would never be able to understand. To fix himself, somehow subconsciously, when he met Sarah he found a person more damaged than he was. The “hero/white knight” part of him came to life with the thought that if he can fix this damaged soul his will be fixed as well. The therapist said my brother could walk into a room of 100 people and pick the one person more damaged than he was and try to fix them.
Years later I explained this to my brother and he said that looking back it made total sense. He knew the marriage would never work but admitting defeat was not an option because he knew how badly he had ruined his relationship with his family so he had to have something worth the destruction and pain Sarah caused. If he could salvage that relationship after all those he destroyed then perhaps it was all worth it.
So now we have Harry, who is now more emotionally destroyed more than ever. He goes to the Middle East and while there something happened that altered his world in a way that he can’t fix. Shattered his sheltered world. Something there traumatized him and really affected who he is as a person. He first hand experienced death and destruction which when added to the death of his mother most likely messed him UP!
Plus, his perfect older brother is living happily ever after. Marrying his gorgeous college sweetheart and looks like he is going to literally living the fairytale life. Meanwhile, Harry is undoubtable happy for William and Kate, there is most likely growing jealousy and resentment. He is on the sidelines if this Disney Romance and is gradually turning bitter. I could get really into depth about what he may or may not be thinking but I am sure most of you can probably guess.
Anyways, fast forward to Summer 2016 and MM. This chick KNOWS what she is doing. She oversteps, and they have their issues but along the way she has made a quick study of him. She picks up on his insecurities, hence the PR articles about Princess Di saying Harry needed more love than William, Kate being intimidated by MM, fights between PW & PC, etc. Articles of that nature that you see are most likely the type of stories she is fills Harry’s head with and with his deeply imbedded insecurities, it’s child’s play to her. She most likely had him convinced he was the STAR of the RF and by marrying her they would not only have the better happily ever after, but they would be more famous and more popular than dreary old PH & KM, and the fortune that comes with the fame would be massive!
MM ruined his relationships with his family and friends to the point he only has her to rely on but like many NARC’s of her stature she underestimated Harry’s need for PW & PC. Those three are a unit and their love and approval matter to him. Matter more than she does. Eventually this will all backfire on MM and blow up in her face, but until he actually stands up and says ENOUGH, we will be subjected to her awful presence. He will say ENOUGH though eventually. It will happen when she has become too confident/arrogant and she will do something truly heinous that will wake him up and give her the ole’ heave-ho!
Keep the faith friends. It is just a matter of time.
breezycooke

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About BreezyCooke

History buff, BRF fan, and amateur researcher/sleuth. I love history and love the tradition behind the BRF and want to do what I can to keep the traditions intact and continuing! Live in Boston, MA, USA and being a city steeped in history and culture brings me peace.

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