Meghan Markle’s Friends Are So Good at Saying Nothing

Read their “candid” conversations about the duchess and you’ll gain approximately no insight into Meghan’s life and personality. And that’s the point.

If your sanity can stand it, come on this journey of highly-orchestrated quote coups. You won’t learn anything about one of the world’s most talked-about women, but you will feel bad that your friends aren’t as nice as hers. 


“[Meghan] is so passionate about the work she does… She’s so conscious when she’s putting her wardrobe together.” -Misha Nonoo, The Telegraph 

I, too, am unable to dress myself when I’m unconscious. Such a bastion of relatability, that Meghan!

Nonoo, as you may know-know, is the rumored matchmaker who introduced Meghan and Harry back in 2016. A New York Times profile called the fashion designer a “close personal friend” of the couple. She and Meghan met at a lunch held during the Miami Art Basel fair. I’ll let Nonoo explain it in her own, confusing, words:

“We sat down and we started, actually, right from the get-go, talking about a shared passion for equality, women’s empowerment, and our love of dogs.” 

Here is a sample of initial conversations I have had with people who later became friends: “I love that eye shadow, what is it?,” “Hey, is this the line for the bathroom?,” and “The person you are on a date with has talked about their high school SAT scores for 15 minutes, despite the fact that they are at least 30 years old. Do you need me to save you?” 

Never have I tapped on the shoulder of the woman doing her makeup in a bathroom mirror and inquired, “Just wondering, how’s your passion for equality doing these days?” But I’ll allow that I might open with a line about how great dogs are—particularly, Colombo, Emily Ratajkowski’s pup.

“She’s very kind. She’s very generous, and a really, really sweet person.” —Gayle King, CBS This Morning

Here, Gayle King—who has both a journalistic and personal relationship with Meghan—describes the duchess like I do a friend’s new girlfriend. She’s… nice. We had one conversation about a true crime podcast we both listen to, so that’s cool. Sure, I like her!

“Megs… she was always meant for big things. To be a change and be an important voice in doing that. It’s amazing that she found that calling and has the platform to be able to do it. By the time this comes out, she will have a baby. It’s so amazing how lives change.” —Priyanka Chopra, Elle UK

Empowerment-mad libs, brought to you by the Quantico actress. It’s a pretty pile of buzzwords like “voice,” “calling,” and “platform” that mean zilch when put together. Then Chopra gets randomly nostalgic, talking of babies and life’s ever-changing seasons, as if she’s singing “Landslide” at karaoke happy hour.

“Over our almost 15 year friendship, I’ve watched Meghan’s dedication to self-growth, and generosity.” —Janina Gavankar, AltFound

You have watched Meghan’s dedication to self-growth, and generosity what, Janina? Grow? Flourish? Touch the lives of many? No, you just watched it. Like a very pretty bird, from a distance. For a really long time. Do you want some water? Or maybe some soup?

“She’s got that warm elegance, though her style is hard to pin down. It’s classy and timeless.” —Abigail Spencer, Vanity Fair

Spencer, who played opposite Markle in the TV show Suits, seems just as confused by her words as I am. “Classy” and “timeless” are perfect placeholders for when you don’t have a clue what you’re saying. It’s so well-meaning, but so vague. One of those few times where you shouldn’t say anything at all, even if it’s something nice. 

“Listen, every person has to have a bit of privacy in their life. There are certain things I hold very dear and secret. There are things I’ll never talk about for sure. My life is an open book, but there’s always a few secret pages in the back that nobody will be able to read.” —Jessica Mulroney, Harper’s Bazaar

The Canadian stylist and TV presenter, who is often cited as Meghan’s closest friend, is also her most secretive. The above quote doesn’t tell me anything about their relationship—I guess that’s the point—but it does make me wonder if books are different in Canada. Secret pages? 

Even if Mulroney rarely goes on the record with Meghan anecdotes, like many Instagram moms, she cannot resist the urge to post an inspirational quote from time to time. A few are plugged to news about the royals. After Meghan and Harry made clear their intention to “step down” from their official duties, the stylist responded with a Gina Carey quote graphic which said, “A strong woman looks a challenge in the eye and gives it a wink.” 

Cheeky and closed-mouthed—the mark of a true confidante. 


Harkle’s Henchwomen

I find that I must respond to the comments by Jessica Mulrooney that were posted by KP during the Holocaust Commemoration day; a day when the DOC photos were presented publicly. Jessica Mulrooney is a Jewish woman who has betrayed the history of her own people; who they were and how they survived during the most painful part of world history. These photos by the Duchess of Cambridge reinforced to all of us… “never forget”. They were sensitive, meaningful and moving. The comments that Ms. Mulrooney made were beyond egregious, i.e., “Pretty pictures” , as in do something productive beyond pretty photos! All agree that the comments were made by an ignorant person, a Jewish one at that, but now we know her as a dangerous, discriminatory ally of MM, her mirror image. A Jewish woman, to gain access to the status of celebrity she thinks the Markles will crack, has put an entitled C list actress above her own religion. I put it to everyone, how far is too far?

Thank you anon, I agree with you, 🥰

Did Jessica Mulroney attack Kate?

Meghan Markle’s BFF Jessica Mulroney is targeted by militant Kate Middleton fans who accused her of criticising the Duchess’ photos of Holocaust survivors – forcing husband Ben Mulroney to step in to defend her


Jessica Mulroney gave a magazine details of private letter to Meghan’s father

How Meghan Markle ‘enlisted her friend Jessica Mulroney to influence media coverage’ and ‘gave a magazine details of private letter to her father’

How Meghan Markle ‘enlisted her friend Jessica Mulroney to influence media coverage’ and ‘gave a magazine details of private letter to her father’

  • Meghan is suing Associated Newspapers over publication of letter to her father 
  • Associated Newspapers’ defence claims new details in the rift over her wedding
  • Thomas Markle claims he tried to contact her before and after but was blocked 
  • Meghan also enlisted her best friend to influence media coverage, it is claimed
  • Thomas Markle sent his daughter ‘loving’ text messages until the eve of her wedding to Prince Harry before heart failure prevented him giving her away.
  • Mr Markle claims the couple cut off contact. He said his ill health was an ‘inconvenience’ to them.
  • Harry ‘admonished’ Mr Markle and told his father-in-law that his contact with the media was ‘causing hurt to his daughter.’
  • After the wedding Mr Markle claims his daughter ‘either blocked’ his calls or ‘changed her number’.
  • Mr Markle pleaded with his daughter to get in contact, saying: ‘You apparently have just written me off… I guess for the rest of my life?’
  • Mr Markle had paid for Meghan’s private school fees, college tuition and continued to pay off her student debt even after she secured a role on the TV show ‘Suits’.
  • He had also paid for her living expenses while she was in Los Angeles looking for acting work.
  • Meghan’s ‘elaborate handwriting’ in the letter to Mr Markle and its ‘rehearsal’ of her version of events shows she wrote it ‘with a view to it being read by third parties and/or disclosed to the public.’

She said Ms Markle had declared: ‘I’m going on a date tonight – with Prince Harry’, adding: ‘I couldn’t believe what I was hearing but I think she [Meghan] could barely believe it either. We were both extremely excited’.


Ms Nelthorpe-Cowne also claimed in the article that Meghan’s suggestion that she and Harry met on a blind date was not quite accurate.


Blind Items Revealed #2

May 24, 2019

The friend of the royal who arranged the original yachting meet with the alliterate actress is someone the actress does not want associating with the royal. However, that friend has accompanied the royal on a trip out of the country and a long time former girlfriend of the royal flew into that same country. Meeting?

Tom Inskip/Prince Harry/Meghan Markle

Meghan Markle’s Closest confidante Jess Mulroney tried to fix a press article for the Duchess

Meghan Markle’s closest confidante Jessica Mulroney ‘tried to fix a press article’ for the Duchess

  • Canadian fashion stylist Jessica Mulroney tried to ‘influence’ an interview that former Meghan adviser Gina Nelthorpe-Cowne had granted the Mail on Sunday
  • The claim is part of the newspaper’s case that the duchess was well versed in the art of attempting to manipulate what was written about her
  • She has complained about her father allowing parts of a letter she wrote to him to be published in the Mail on Sunday

One of Meghan’s best friends once intervened to try to fix a ‘favourable’ press article for the Duchess of Sussex, it has been claimed.

Canadian fashion stylist Jessica Mulroney tried to ‘influence’ an interview that former Meghan adviser Gina Nelthorpe-Cowne had granted the Mail on Sunday.

The claim is part of the newspaper’s case that the duchess was well versed in the art of attempting to manipulate what was written about her.

She has complained about her father allowing parts of a letter she wrote to him to be published in the Mail on Sunday. But the paper says Thomas Markle only did so after Meghan had colluded in an article with People magazine.

Mrs Mulroney’s intervention was given as an example of Meghan using friends to influence what was written about her.

The duchess and her style guru are said to have been in touch after Kensington Palace was informed by the Mail on Sunday about its interview with Mrs Nelthorpe-Cowne, a former friend and adviser.

The court papers say Meghan ’caused or permitted a close friend to seek to influence what is published about her in the media’.

They said Mrs Mulroney tried to intervene in relation to the interview.

A Mail on Sunday journalist had notified the Palace about the contents of the story.

The paper’s lawyers suggest Meghan then passed this message on to Mrs Mulroney ‘with a request that she intervene to try to ensure that a more favourable article was published’.

Later that day – April 7, 2018 – Mrs Mulroney wrote to Mrs Nelthorpe-Cowne ‘putting pressure on her to withdraw or change statements’, it was claimed.

Defence lawyers stated they would seek ‘disclosure’ of all of Meghan’s communications relating to this intervention and any other occasions in which she had permitted her friends to provide information to the media to influence what is published about her.

Mrs Mulroney, the daughter-in-law of former Canadian PM Brian Mulroney, met Meghan while working on the TV drama Suits.

Known as ‘Toronto’s answer to Gwyneth Paltrow’, she is a social media star and is married to a friend of Canadian PM Justin Trudeau.

Meghan Markle is a very corrupt person