Meghan Markle’s Friends Are So Good at Saying Nothing

Read their “candid” conversations about the duchess and you’ll gain approximately no insight into Meghan’s life and personality. And that’s the point.

If your sanity can stand it, come on this journey of highly-orchestrated quote coups. You won’t learn anything about one of the world’s most talked-about women, but you will feel bad that your friends aren’t as nice as hers. 

 

“[Meghan] is so passionate about the work she does… She’s so conscious when she’s putting her wardrobe together.” -Misha Nonoo, The Telegraph 

I, too, am unable to dress myself when I’m unconscious. Such a bastion of relatability, that Meghan!

Nonoo, as you may know-know, is the rumored matchmaker who introduced Meghan and Harry back in 2016. A New York Times profile called the fashion designer a “close personal friend” of the couple. She and Meghan met at a lunch held during the Miami Art Basel fair. I’ll let Nonoo explain it in her own, confusing, words:

“We sat down and we started, actually, right from the get-go, talking about a shared passion for equality, women’s empowerment, and our love of dogs.” 

Here is a sample of initial conversations I have had with people who later became friends: “I love that eye shadow, what is it?,” “Hey, is this the line for the bathroom?,” and “The person you are on a date with has talked about their high school SAT scores for 15 minutes, despite the fact that they are at least 30 years old. Do you need me to save you?” 

Never have I tapped on the shoulder of the woman doing her makeup in a bathroom mirror and inquired, “Just wondering, how’s your passion for equality doing these days?” But I’ll allow that I might open with a line about how great dogs are—particularly, Colombo, Emily Ratajkowski’s pup.

“She’s very kind. She’s very generous, and a really, really sweet person.” —Gayle King, CBS This Morning

Here, Gayle King—who has both a journalistic and personal relationship with Meghan—describes the duchess like I do a friend’s new girlfriend. She’s… nice. We had one conversation about a true crime podcast we both listen to, so that’s cool. Sure, I like her!

“Megs… she was always meant for big things. To be a change and be an important voice in doing that. It’s amazing that she found that calling and has the platform to be able to do it. By the time this comes out, she will have a baby. It’s so amazing how lives change.” —Priyanka Chopra, Elle UK

Empowerment-mad libs, brought to you by the Quantico actress. It’s a pretty pile of buzzwords like “voice,” “calling,” and “platform” that mean zilch when put together. Then Chopra gets randomly nostalgic, talking of babies and life’s ever-changing seasons, as if she’s singing “Landslide” at karaoke happy hour.

“Over our almost 15 year friendship, I’ve watched Meghan’s dedication to self-growth, and generosity.” —Janina Gavankar, AltFound

You have watched Meghan’s dedication to self-growth, and generosity what, Janina? Grow? Flourish? Touch the lives of many? No, you just watched it. Like a very pretty bird, from a distance. For a really long time. Do you want some water? Or maybe some soup?

“She’s got that warm elegance, though her style is hard to pin down. It’s classy and timeless.” —Abigail Spencer, Vanity Fair

Spencer, who played opposite Markle in the TV show Suits, seems just as confused by her words as I am. “Classy” and “timeless” are perfect placeholders for when you don’t have a clue what you’re saying. It’s so well-meaning, but so vague. One of those few times where you shouldn’t say anything at all, even if it’s something nice. 

“Listen, every person has to have a bit of privacy in their life. There are certain things I hold very dear and secret. There are things I’ll never talk about for sure. My life is an open book, but there’s always a few secret pages in the back that nobody will be able to read.” —Jessica Mulroney, Harper’s Bazaar

The Canadian stylist and TV presenter, who is often cited as Meghan’s closest friend, is also her most secretive. The above quote doesn’t tell me anything about their relationship—I guess that’s the point—but it does make me wonder if books are different in Canada. Secret pages? 

Even if Mulroney rarely goes on the record with Meghan anecdotes, like many Instagram moms, she cannot resist the urge to post an inspirational quote from time to time. A few are plugged to news about the royals. After Meghan and Harry made clear their intention to “step down” from their official duties, the stylist responded with a Gina Carey quote graphic which said, “A strong woman looks a challenge in the eye and gives it a wink.” 

Cheeky and closed-mouthed—the mark of a true confidante. 

Advertisements

Still lying about how Meghan and Harry Met

Misha Nonoo, who is rumoured to have introduced Meghan Markle to Prince Harry, reveals she’s expecting her first baby three months after wedding oil heir Mikey Hess at A-list ceremony in Italy

Congrats on the baby, but it wasn’t Mish that did the introduction. Harry’s friends came first, 😉😉 Land yachter! Don’t marry the help.

Anon said: MM sent one of her friends to speak for her again, PR

Anon said: MM sent one of her friends to speak for her again, PR

Meghan sent one of her ‘friends’ to talk to the media again. They kiss her ass, and her family doesn’t, that’s why she doesn’t like them.

Misha is kissing Ass, and her company was on the brink of flatlining. Nothing original in this…

View On WordPress

Misha Nonoo background & Picture

Misha Nonoo background & Picture

Anonymous said:
Misha Nonoo has a Jewish father. Her father was a Sephardic Jew originally from Iraq, but the family moved to Bahrain. She comes from a very wealthy family.
=========================
Did you read my post?  I was very complimentary to her; I appreciate your ask.
Thank you anon 🌸🌸😎
Hey! is this the time she met MM?
MIAMI BEACH, FL – DECEMBER 02: (L-R) Hikari Yokoyama, Jay Jopling,…

View On WordPress

Misha Nonoo background & Picture

Misha Nonoo has a Jewish father. Her father was a Sephardic Jew originally from Iraq, but the family moved to Bahrain. She comes from a very wealthy family.
=========================
Did you read my post?  I was very complimentary to her; I appreciate your ask.
Thank you anon 🌸🌸😎
Hey! is this the time she met MM?
MIAMI BEACH, FL – DECEMBER 02: (L-R) Hikari Yokoyama, Jay Jopling, Nick Jones, Misha Nonoo, Marcus Anderson and Alexander Gilkes attend White Cube Gallery & Soho Beach House Celebrate Art Basel Miami 2014, Hosted By Jay Jopling & Nick Jones on December 2, 2014 in Miami Beach, Florida. (Photo by Venturelli/Getty Images for Soho Beach House)
Embed from Getty Images

Misha Nonoo

Anonymous said:
The name ~ Misha Nanoo ~ is sooo friggin’ annoying!!! So fake sounding, including her façade.
===========================================================
Oh Geez, She was born in the Middle East, has an English mother I believe. The girl worked hard to make a name for herself, is in with Harry, Eugenie crowd.  I can’t down her for that, she got used too. What she does later on…

View On WordPress